Unbalanced Kisses and Shattered Dreams
by asian princess 61
Summary: (ToguroxGenkai) Genkai's thoughts on the man she once loved and the monster she despised for 50 years.


Unbalanced Kisses and Shattered Dreams: A Toguro and Genkai Fiction  
  
~* Wareta kagami no naka (In the shattered mirror, Your reflected image)*~  
  
I slowly make may way to the starboard side of the ship and stare into the deep dark waters as the cool night air blows around me as my young face stares deep into an ever breaking reflection in the depths of the waves under the bright ship lights. The stars shine above me calling out to me to make a wish.. But I don't bother.. No wish now will ever bring you back to me.  
  
~* Naite iru, Naite iru (Crying, Crying)*~  
  
You promised me forever.. Only to take it away.. Both of us suffering. Why are we both suffering?.. Because of the monster Kairen.. He killed your students.. And seemed to kill the man I most cared about too. Yet.. You blamed yourself.. And me.. For their deaths.. But Toguro.. It's not our fault.. Or maybe it is.. Or maybe we just.. All did something stupid along the way.  
  
I turn quickly catching a distant glimpse of Hanging Neck Island. You once told me you thought of our human lives as a short time to figure out what we want only to have it fade and erode away. Then.. Is that why you became a demon? To stop your aging? Or was it to just.. Never be vulnerable again. A memory of us comes to mind.. That memory of us riding gently on the river. I knew how everything would end.. But I couldn't stop it.. You stubborn and hopeless dimwit.  
  
~* Hosoi tsuki no nazoru yubi (A finger tracing the edge of the narrow moon)*~  
  
I turn my young brown eyes up into the sky and see the narrow crescent moon shining into the ocean. 'Maybe,' I think quietly to myself. 'You'll come back to me, and somewhere down the road.. Fifty years perhaps.. We'll be laughing about this.' We'll be laughing our old and graying heads off. I smirk.. I know where we're headed.. No growing old together for us.. And.. I know you won't come back.. Not now anyway.. But maybe someday when I'm ready to die and after I pass my skills off to a dim-witted apprentice.. I'll see you once more. It could be a good meeting.. Or it could be a bad one.. I only hope you'll come to your senses by then.   
  
~* Dare wo yonde iru no kieata koi no senaka? (Are you calling the back of love that has gone?) *~  
  
I turn back to the dark image of the island as my heart calls out to you.. Wanting you back.. You know.. I wonder what I'm doing.. It almost sounds like regret.. Do I regret loving you? No.. But do I regret my inability to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life?.. Perhaps.. But know this Toguro.. Never feel regret for the things between us. No matter how it may look as though you've betrayed me and abandoned me.. Never feel regret. Not at all.. Or maybe.. I'm just lovelorn.  
  
~* Nando demo, Nando demo (No matter how many times, No matter how many times)  
  
Kimi no mado wo tataku hara (Because I knock on your window)*~  
  
I continue to stare at the fading island my heart still calling out to you.. But no matter how many times it calls you won't answer it. "Eyes are the window to the soul" they say.. If you were to stare into my windows what would you see? My love? My sadness? My..  
  
My words thought trails off quietly as I see a tall figure walk out onto the middle of the beach his dark hair and dark uniform blowing lightly in the wind. There's only one figure that could ever look like that. Instantly, my eyes lock with yours.. Toguro.  
  
The dark ocean waters crash and roar around the ship as wild emotions rage in your eyes as the breeze turns harsher and colder around me. You maybe far away but I can still tell what your feeling.. I see in your deep and raging eyes the power only a demon could possess. Anger, hatred of all human kind.. But underneath you cold facade shines the last bit of humanity you have left in you.. Sadness. Regret.  
  
~*Yoru no kasokudo ni senaka osarete (Like a thread being cut)   
  
Ito ga kireru you ni (Your back is pushed by acceleration of the night.)*~  
  
Suddenly, the ship moves faster pulling me away cutting what's left of our bond in half as the cold and lonely wind pushes against the ship's back accelerating it into the night and away from you.  
  
~* Tada, kimi wo kimi tsuyoku daite 'ta (Only you I embrace tightly)*~  
  
I sway as the waves crash wildly onto the ship as the ships bobs up and down wildly. 'No!' my heart seems to cry as I turn to you only to find you gone.. Again. 'This is not what I want! I only want Toguro!'  
  
~* Anbaransu na Kiss wo kawashite (Exchanging unbalanced kisses)  
  
Ai ni chikazuke yo (Comes closer to love) *~  
  
We've exchanged unbalanced kisses only to drift farther away from one another and farther from love.. Drifting farther away from one another as the ship drifts farther from the island seemingly taking all unwilling prisoners with it.  
  
~* Kimi no namida mo kanashii uso mo (Both your tears and the sorrowful lies)  
  
Boko no kokoro ni nemure (Sleep in my heart)*~  
  
Slowly, the ship slows down as the last of the island is nothing but a seemingly innocent sleeping dot in the distance as an endless sadness, lies, and hidden tears begin to sleep in my heart.  
  
My long pink braid blows quietly in the wind as I stare into the stars. I reach into my hair and pull out the braid.. 'To a new beginning,' I think quietly. 'A new beginning without.. You.' I think I will wear my hair down a little more often now.  
  
~* Kinou e Merry-go-round kimi wo hakonde yuku (A Merry-go-round taking you towards yesterday)   
  
Tometakute, Tometakute (Wanting to stop, wanting to stop)  
  
Boku wa kagi no sagashite 'ru (I am searching for the key) *~   
  
I look deep into the dark moonlit depths of the ocean seemingly searching within the oceans of my heart and mind as the distant tune of a carousel plays in my mind its antique horses the good times of yesterdays and yesteryears. But.. No matter how I try.. I can't stop it.. I couldn't prevent it.. I didn't have the right key.  
  
~* Kuzuyureochisou na sora wo sasaete (Holding up the sky that seems to crumble)  
  
Hitori tachitsukusu (I bear it alone)*~  
  
I watch the merry-go-round continue to twirl out of the control the antique horses neighing wildly as the sea crashes and roars into the distant night below me. The world is rough as the sea if not rougher, and I shall bear it alone. But..  
  
~* Tada kimi no kimi no soba ni itai yo (Only, by your side by your side I want to be)*~  
  
I want to be by your side as well.. I know I should hate you by now.. For choosing your youth over all the you seemed to believed in and that I respected, but.. Right now.. I can't.  
  
~* Anbaransu Kiss de kakareta (Written with unbalanced kisses)   
  
Futari no shinario (A scenario of us two)*~  
  
An unbalanced scenario flashes in my mind.. A picture of us two.. Dressed as though we were to be married. Me in white.. You in a tux.. Oh what am I saying? I'm Genkai.. I don't say things like that.  
  
~* Ai to yobu hodo tsuyoku nakute mo (Even call it love even if it's not strong)  
  
Kimi no subete ga itai (Everything about you hurts) *~  
  
I stare into the distant horizon where the island once was.. Where you were once were and feel the slow pain of heartbreak set in. I suppose now our love is no longer strong, but lets pretend.. Lets make believe we're in love.. Still in love.. Until the end of time.  
  
~* Tada kimi no kimi no soba ni itai yo (Only, by your side by your side I want to be)*~  
  
I only want to be by your side Toguro.. I'll love no other man for as long as I live.. At least.. Until I can see you again.  
  
~* Anbaransu na Kiss wo kawashite (Exchanging unbalanced kisses)  
  
Ai ni chikazuke yo (Comes closer to love)   
  
Kimi no namida mo kanashii uso mo (Both your tears and the sorrowful lies)  
  
Boko no kokoro ni nemure (Sleep in my heart)*~  
  
And maybe when that day seems to come.. Our unbalanced kisses will become balanced once more.. And we'll no longer drift farther from one another.. But drift closer into a love that only the truest of soul-mates can achieve as you lies and tears will no longer burden me or my heart.. Until..  
  
~* Kimi no kokoro ga boku wo yobu made (Til your heart calls out to me)  
  
Dakishimearu hi made (Till the day I can meet you in my arms)*~  
  
Until the day your heart will be calling mine returning its never-ending call.. Until the day.. I can hold you the man I fell in love with in my arms once more...  
  
(Author's note: -.-''' uh.. Forgive me if Genkai seems o.o.c.. Her character is kinda hard to place. And yes I will be expecting flames from those who don't like me making Genkai o.o.c. and those who don't like my writing period.) 


End file.
